I ran right off that elliptical and into the woods

I blew off my ride tonight. Mara was not happy with me. I cannot commit to anything. I have exercise ADD. I plan my week out so nicely and then it is any one's call what I'm actually going to do to move this body. Maybe I'm just flexible, easygoing, I can roll with change right? Or is that what I'm telling myself?

Let's back track. My ride was to be at 6pm. So, at 4pm I go out to the garage and start cleaning my bike which is up on the spin doctor. I clean my chain and it is filthy so instead of the basic wipe down and lube I decide to do the full 9 yards and actually scrub it with degreaser and get my bucket of suds out for a thorough cleaning. As I remove my wheels I notice I have another flat! Damn it. This time on the front. I must not be seating my tubes correctly. I didn't have another spare tube so my ride was not looking good. Yes, I could have ridden my other bike, but I wasn't feeling strong enough to do the hills and climbs on my double today in the 91 degree heat. Excuses, excuses...we'll get to that.

I call Mara and tell her that I'm not going on the ride (after I pussy foot around with my excuses). However, now I have a really shiny clean bike to ride tomorrow morning :) She was not amused I'm sure.

I come in the house and jump on the elliptical because I needed to get in some kind of exercise before the days end. ZZZZZZ...BORING! I had my tunes plugged firmly into my ears, but damned if I can ever love boring cardio on a machine. So after 25 minutes on that thing I literally ran out the back door and did a two mile run out on our back hilly road. I didn't tell a soul, I just ran right off the thing and into the woods.

Something is very wrong with me lately.

On my run all I could think of was that I probably should have actually told Edward or one of the kids that I was going to run out back, but that didn't even cross my mind until I was a mile into my run. What if a bear attacked me, what if a lynx decides to pounce on my head and scratch my eyes out, what if I tripped over a bunny and hurt my wittle self? Because those things *could* have happened...right? And nobody would have known where I was. Next time I'll leave a note.

It is smoldering hot and I think it has gone to my brain; the worse thing that would have really happened would be that I would have passed out from heat stroke! Screw the animals, I am my own worst enemy.