Face it Ticia

You don't like to go to the "mountain".

I didn't "love" Mammoth.
I didn't "love" Utah.
I didn't "love" Big Bear.

I've been living up here for 2 1/2 years now in Washintonianland. Today, I took my first trip "to the Hood", Mt. Hood for clarity sake. Here is my dirty "Why I hate the mountain list".

1. I hate the drive. My life always flashes before me. When your life suddenly flashes before you it is bad news people. This is when my dear husband looks over at my white knuckles and kindly slows down 1 mph. What a peach.

2. Getting 2 children into snow "gear". Watching 9 year old shrug off my attempts at helping her get on the "right/warm" gear.

3. Watching the 20 some year old boys in the car ahead of us drink 40oz'ers like coffee at 9am to wash out last nights hang over before they go up and snowboard with my husband, my daughter, friends, neighbors (literally--they were there), and all the other innocent victims on the blasted mountain.

4. Watching my 2 1/2 yr old have a near death experience at the hands of a fast moving teenager at the cafeteria and thus following many other 2 year old ummm, issues.

a. Young boy trips over her and luckily (because he at the least has super quick teenage reactions) falls ON her w/o actually bearing weight on my precious precious. Whatever, now she has PTSD.

b. Falls off her precarious perch on stupid cafeteria plate sized stool or large butt plug, whatever. Oh oops, going off. She falls and loses all her french fries and a large tantrum ensues.

c. Since she now has PTSD from Flash the teenager she goes into hysterics if anyone resembling a teenage boy comes within a 4 foot approximation. Thank the universe she is repelled by teenage boys at such a young age. I'm so proud.

5. Hardly, any cell phone reception to call my husband to rescue us with his logic and all that is best Daddy/Husbandness.


6. Teen/tweenagers walking around with their cell phones, with seemingly 4-5 bars of reception and bonking us in the hear with their boards while in their other ear their I-pod is screaming _________(fill in blank band here). If only I could harness that kind of totally self-centered multitasking. Damnit, my kids and I are the center of the universe; walk AROUND us we are definitely NOT invisible. Have you heard a 2 yr old tantrum? Wooo what a good rant.

SIDE NOTE: Dude, I totally need to talk to them and get their cell phone carriers info. ya'know like try to get them to hit me on the down low. ::snort::

Note to self: Cool me is so long gone if she ever existed but only in my mind. I'm not the shiznit beeyotch. Whew, got that out of my system.

7. They don't serve hot forks to gorge your eyeballs out and eat for lunch to sustain absent minded mother's for: (see #8).


8. Parking. I walked that stupid parking lot 3 times and couldn't find my truck (I don't know why everyone has to buy a ****ing white SUV?) C'mon people. Yes, I see the irony. Little one decided to take a nap on this fun "let's find Mommy's car game" and turned into a 25lb + sack of taters. 5 yr old lovely boy holds out pulling my snow pants down and exposing my very attractive muffin topped long underwear shot. Minutes after I realize I've been flashing numerous muffin spectators he bursts into tears of exhaustion. I swear I'm in a nightmare...oh no I look up, it's just my trip to the "mountain".

Wow, I only had 8. There must be so many more loathing thoughts I could put down. Oh, there are; however, I'm feeling so good now that I'm off the mountain that I'll spare you all the time suck.

Why did I think I'd love Mt. Hood?
Could it be the toddler element? Hmmm. I'll get back to you when she is 5 and I dare to try it again.

Off to counsel myself with a glass of wine because HELLO! One day I'm-a-gonna-have-3 of dem dere teenagers...hopefully, not "that" kind. Denial is so comforting.

Back in the saddle again

Lame title, but true.

10 pounds of winter weight gain can really make that blasted spandex feel awful, okay spandex is always awful, but c'mon I'm trying.

The weather has been so beautiful this month that I've gotten out riding my bike ~3-4 times a week. Our weather has been fantastic; blue, clear, skies have been happening about um 3-4 times a week. See any pattern to my riding preferences (cool and sunny rules!)? Last year at this time we were driving back from California in the snow and furious rain.

Monday I rode with a really nice group over the bridge to Portlandia and east up the Gorge. The view was spectacular, but the head and crosswinds were practically blowing us over. Combining that with the element of "urban flare": read fast flying HUGE SEMI TRUCKS and I was feeling very skeeeered. The big trucks create this suck into the road affect and combined with the head/cross wind situation I was not happy. When we dropped into the bike path I was fine. Headwinds were still awful, but I felt safe and so I just plugged along thinking what a great experience the whole ride was for me and my "country road loving ways" lol. The high point of this ride was getting onto the 5 freeway bridge and overlooking the giant Hooters billboard. Kidding. It was seeing the 3 volcanoes so clearly snow topped against the blue sky: Mt. St. Helen, Mt. Adams, and Mt. Hood. My new bike was giving me some big trouble with braking fast and I'm not "loving" it as much as my "old" bike.

Today, I went out with a group that was for the most part REALLY REALLY FAST (for me). The ride was advertised as "moderate", but a steady pace :). When I saw the ride leaders calves I was a bit intimidated. I thought he would make a fantastic anatomy model. I could see every muscle fiber and vein. He turned out to be a really great ride leader. He would sprint up and back to both lead and sweep. I would act like a big dork and try to catch him or follow his cadence while he just "cruised" and it was very challenging for me and my poor lungs (why did I abuse my poor lungs for so long--hindsight and all is a bitch).

18 miles into this lovely, pretty, flat, farm animal, country road, (complete with Emu's--I'll get to that distraction later) I was coming up to a stop sign and slowly tipped over. I nailed my left knee really hard on the road twisted my already twisted right ankle. Ouch my pride ;) Later, ouch my knee.

I always unclip on my right side, but I must have had something wedged in my cleat because when I went to turn out of my pedal my leg did a 180 and just still wouldn't unclip. Then as I still lean right I desperately try to unclip on my very unpracticed left foot. Umm, that didn't work. I just hit the ground now giggling like the idiot I am. I heard many jokes and laughed them off as I pointed out the Emu's to distract my riding group from my embarrassment.

So now I sit w/my leg up icing the perfect chicken egg of a bump that was once just a sore joint of a knee ;) and watching "Mean Girls". I'm so mature.

Now that I'm a self proclaimed You Tube Junkie

It's been cold, rainy, I've been sick and I just want to ride my new bike "outside". So I'm going to have a little soap box self proclamation if you all don't mind. I am going to seek help velly velly soon...You Tube is the *new* DEBIL. I'm on my way to recovery, but to all those that I have senselessly forwarded embedded links to "funny" videos I apologize now. I'm getting help. It has been a long 4 days of fever and mucus. Okay, one last one...just watch...it's funny, Margaret Cho is in it and there is cursing:)





Yes I'll go to the gosh forsaken air conditioned realm of stationary spinning sublimation, but I won't like it as much as the great outdoors!

and for good measure..I don't like odd videos so here is another just to keep things even :)

Screwy Dove Campaign

So first I saw this ad and thought: Alright Dove! As I have a young dd who is now just starting to really be fully aware of societies obsession with the female body. Watch, it's great, disturbing, and you shout out "Go Dove! I'm going to buy your soap for all you do to promote a healthy view of the female body."



BUT, then I see this ad and feel ill again...